Two men are talking.
1st: I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!
Adam and Eve’s wedding. Adam: I hereby take Eve to be my LAWFUL wedded wife. EVE didn’t hear the ‘L’. . .. … Thus, the misery began and has continued ever since.
Son: Mummy, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time?’ Mummy: No sometimes they start with, ‘Darling, I have to work a little late at the office tonight!’
Wife : You are extremely impolite. All the time I was talking, you were continuously yawning… Husband : I was not yawning, I was trying to say something!