Two men are talking.
1st: I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!
Wife: If I die first, I want you to promise to let my mother ride in the first car with you at the funeral procession. Husband: OK, but it will totally ruin my day!
Son: Mummy, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time?’ Mummy: No sometimes they start with, ‘Darling, I have to work a little late at the office tonight!’
