Adam and Eve’s wedding. Adam: I hereby take Eve to be my LAWFUL wedded wife. EVE didn’t hear the ‘L’. . .. … Thus, the misery began and has continued ever since.
Wife to her friend: My hubby bought me a Mood ring the other day. When I’m in a Good mood, it turns Green and when Im in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead!
Husband standing on the scale, holding his stomach in. Wife: I do not think that is going to help. Husband: Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers?