Friend: How’s your sex life? Man: As usual, Monday to Friday. Friend: What about the weekends? Man: Weekends? Oh! That time I’m at home, relaxing with my wife !
Thinking on toes: When mom asks, Whom do you love more, me or your wife. Smart answer: I don’t know Mom, but your love makes me forget my Wife, and her love and care reminds me of you.
Wife: If I die first, I want you to promise to let my mother ride in the first car with you at the funeral procession. Husband: OK, but it will totally ruin my day!