A pregnant lady went to an astrologer

A one line advertisement by a Married Man in a newspaper: For Sale: Wedding suit, worn only once by mistake.

How could a mere tap on the shoulder startle you so? demanded the customer angrily. I am sorry, replied the taxi driver, I have recently started driving a taxi. For years I used to drive a funeral van.

Modern day break up: Girl: I wanna break up with you. Boy: Why?. Girl: because you didn’t comment on my picture.

A solicitor is reading out his client’s will. And to my grasping nephew Smith: I always said I’d mention you in my will, so… Hi, Smith!

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to zip up your fly, and then you forget to unzip your fly.

Education is incomplete without 5 B’s B – Bikes B – Beers B – Babes B – Bunks and the most important B – Backlogs!