When wife and children go for a vacation

Husband standing on the scale, holding his stomach in. Wife: I do not think that is going to help. Husband: Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers?

The person who invented marriage was creepy as Hell. Otherwise how can a person really think of such weird thing like, Hey! yo I love you so much. I’m gonna get the government involved so that you can’t leave me.

Written behind the back of a biker’s T-shirt: If you are able to read this, it means my wife has fallen off… please inform me!

Running away from any problem will only increase the distance from the solution. So face the problem in the same way as you face your spouse daily!

There was a lover who once said to his beloved that he would go through hell for her. And eventually married her, to prove it!

Never criticize your husband’s faults. Remember it may have been these little imperfections that stopped him from getting a better wife.