Every tear is a sign of cutting

I didn’t do well in my board exams because my dad always said, Sometimes a person has to fail in life in order to succeed!

Customer: Your dog seems very fond of watching you cut my hair. Barber: Quite right, Sir! Sometimes, I snip off customers’ ears.

A retired sergeant was asked: Well, how do you like civilian life? Terrible, he said gruffly, all those people around and nobody in charge!

Alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean . .. … against tables, chairs, floor, walls and ugly people!

Doctor to Lady: you are looking so weak and exhausted ! Are you properly taking three meals a day as I had advised ? Lady: Oh my God ! I heard three Males per day !

When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, when tears flow in your eyes, always remember three things: I’m with you, you have money and Bar is open