Who is a Psychiatrist? A qualified person who gives you an expensive and critical analysis about yourself, which your spouse gives you for free, daily.
A little girl was frantically praying in the Church: Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China! The priest enquired: Why must you pray so, my child? Girl: That’s what I have written in my answer sheet in the examination!
Customer: I am afraid your make of car does not suit us. My fiancee cannot reach the brakes and the steering-wheel at the same time. Salesman: But sir, the car is perfect. Why not try a new girl?