News of the World will email

If a beautiful woman goes for a walk every morning… she can improve the health of at least 10 men.

Customer: Your dog seems very fond of watching you cut my hair. Barber: Quite right, Sir! Sometimes, I snip off customers’ ears.

When you miss somebody, When nobody disturbs you, When nobody is near you, And when You are in control, It surely means that You are in the TOILET!

Dear Math, I am sick and tired of finding your ‘X’. Just accept the fact that she is gone. Move on, Dude!

3 reasons why I’m single: 1. I can’t date food 2. I can’t date myself 3. I can’t date the internet

His drinks are with us whenever we are sad or happy. Now he needs us. Please save Mallya’s kingfisher air. Drink his liquid gold above your normal capacity.