I hate it when people point to their wrists to ask for the time! I mean, seriously, do I point to my crotch when I need to go to a Restroom?
Life’s irony: Little girl wants Barbie dolls and little boys want big cars. After growing up, big girls want big cars and big boys want Barbie girls!
Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings for you have never changed. For me, You have always been a headache!
A solicitor is reading out his client’s will. And to my grasping nephew Smith: I always said I’d mention you in my will, so… Hi, Smith!
If I ever go for a brain transplant I’d like to use your brain. It’s not because you are a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.
Scientists all over the world are wondering how long a human being can live without a brain… Kindly tell them your age…
3 reasons why I’m single: 1. I can’t date food 2. I can’t date myself 3. I can’t date the internet