There are four animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed and of course a donkey to pay her bills!!
A guy just yelled at me for texting and driving. I told him to get off my hood and mind his own business.
I’m getting tired of writing Sent from my iPhone at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just . .. … …. get an iPhone!
Quote on a husband’s T-Shirt: All girls are devils, But my wife is the queen of . . . all of them.
A student writes a letter via telegram to his dad. It goes… No fun, send mon, your son! Dad write back saying…so sad, too bad, your dad!
What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? For Bird Flu you need tweetment and for Swine Flu you need oinkment.
Do you remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, you put your face out, then people started shouting ‘TWINS TWINS’