There are four animal species

Examiner: Why did you write the formula in your hand? Student: Because my teacher said, ‘Formulas must be on your finger tips’.

Father to Son: Success is when Signature turns into Autograph. Son: No Dad, Success is when Signature turns into Black Label or Chivas Regal.

Superb thought. For every idiot there is an equal and opposite idiot. They are called husband and wife.

Don’t waste time thinking about your past or future. Better kill some mosquitoes so that you can sleep better!

Fake hair, fake nails, fake tan, fake smile. Girl, are you sure you weren’t made in China?

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter. A: Oh, I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t know that you were her father. B: I’m not. I’m her mother.