Thinking on toes:
When mom asks, Whom do you love more, me or your wife.
Smart answer: I don’t know Mom, but your love makes me forget my Wife, and her love and care reminds me of you.
A wife was screaming at her husband, Leave! Get out of this house! she ordered. As husband was walking out the door she yelled, I hope you die a slow and painful death! He stopped, turned around and replied So now you want me to stay?
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
Two men are talking. 1st: I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes. 2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!
Wife to her friend: My hubby bought me a Mood ring the other day. When I’m in a Good mood, it turns Green and when Im in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead!
