Funny

A firefighter addressing the High School students. Firefighter: Do you know how to save five drowning lawyers? Students: No. Firefighter: Good!

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed !

3 Apples changed the world: 1st one seduced Eve, 2nd awakened Newton and the 3rd one Apple iphone.

3 reasons why I’m single: 1. I can’t date food 2. I can’t date myself 3. I can’t date the internet

A baby fish asked her mother: Y can’t we live on earth? Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it’s made for SELFISH.

A beautiful girl puts her finger to Hotel Manager’s lips. The manager kisses and and licks the finger. Girl: Tell your boss that there is no tissue paper in the toilet!

A beggar found Rs 100/-. He went to a 5 star hotel for dinner-Bill Rs 3000/-. Manager handed him to police. He gave Rs 100/- to police and free. It’s called Financial Management without MBA.

A blonde was riding on a train and reading the newspaper. The headline said: 12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed. She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to the passenger next to her and asked: How many is a brazilian?

Extremely Important News!!! : Dear friends, Do not eat Ferrero Rocher or Cadbury Chocolates, and Haagen Daaz and Ben and Jerry Ice Creams or Magnum products… … WITHOUT ME.

What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? For Bird Flu you need tweetment and for Swine Flu you need oinkment.